.ღ .The good, the bad and the ugly .ღ .

I hate being the most reliable one...I hate being the easiest to contact...I hate being the one everyone depends on..I hate being the one everyone turns to in times of need whatever the reason may be..I hate being the pillar for everyone to lean on..

Life is not exactly a bed of roses..never is and never will be...whoever came up with that phrase..is an idiot..one who probably sees or rather saw the world through rose tinted glasses..

Its not that I mind being the pillar or the listener and advicer at times..but it sucks always having to be that one person..leaving everyone the impression that..you're always the happy and optimistic one..the one who's never down...the one who's strong..the one who never needs a shoulder to rest on. Yes..so I do try to be that optimistic idiot most of the time but reality check, I'm human too and not some energizer bunny figure of some sort.

There are times in which..I hate being me..I think I'm kinda starting to sound like some emotional wreck..but can't help it..and no work doesn't help either..in fact..it makes things worst..with idiotic arseholes and no brainers who whine at every little thing..and not forgetting those who "threaten" to complain if you don't give in to their whinings and such. Go ahead write in..call in..I don't fucking care..like I give a hoot to this job..sorry it just ain't me..I'm just hanging on till the contract ends..in fact if I were to get the axe..well thank you you just did me a huge favour huns. I can't be bothered to go through the itty bitty details to help them..except for the handful of nice and polite peeps who call in..the rest are just plain rude..so gimme 10 good reasons why I should go through the tedious process to help you when..you're not even able to display your gratitude or the very least, good manners. Its a turn off..like seriously..oh well..its just 3 more weeks of endurance..so...what the heck..whine all you want..its your loss.

Anyway..I don't really know what got into me..but..yes I'm an emotional wreck. Maybe cause I'll never be able to see the world through rose tinted glasses. And..no I don't believe in drinking to numb myself or whatsoever..cause..I ain't a drinker and yes I bloody hate hangovers..I'd choose sleeping to drinking..odd..but true..maybe I am an odd ball..? Hm..whatever..my life..my rules.